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	Manitoba Moose	74
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Posted 2005 January 22

By now, the trend of using colors like magenta and teal has almost completely died out. Most of the teams that once used these colors have either folded, relocated, or simply changed their color scheme. One of the last holdouts is the Manitoba Moose. They need to quit holding out.

All in all, the overarching theme of this logo is androgyny. I mean it. This is easily the most feminine logo in all of minor league hockey, but it's not quite feminine enough to be called a truly feminine logo, so it must be androgynous. Or metrosexual. There's not that big a difference, really.

First, there's the color scheme – a dark teal green, brown, and black. On the one hand, guys do not wear teal. Sure, Carson Kressley (from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy...you know, the one who acts like a walking stereotype while the others act like actual people) might wear it, but do you think you'll ever see Drew Carey wearing teal? Kevin James? Uh-uh. On the other hand, while this may not be a color combination most men would pick for themselves, it also isn't one that would instantly get you beaten up on the playground for wearing. It's not like the jersey is tangerine and aqua, after all. SO while it's not very manly, it isn't very girly, either. In other words, it's androgynous.

Now look at the eye. This moose is clearly anthropomorphized (unless you can explain to me how a hoof can get into a hockey glove), so I'm not even going to entertain notions that this is supposed to represent an actual moose eye. It's a human eye. Keep that in mine as you look at the eyrbrow. Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever seen an eyebrow that was naturally that thick? No, you haven't. And unless you've been watching a bunch of Culture Club videos on VH1 Classic, you haven't seen a man wearing mascara, either. The obvious conclusion here? Those are women's eyes. But female moose don't have antlers that large. You see where this is heading, don't you?

Of course, gender identity confusion isn't the only issue this logo has. The background of a frozen lake (I assume it's supposed to be frozen) with the trees in the distance is okay. But what's with the little maple leaf on the right hand side? It's as bad as all those damn Texan flags. In fact, I'm giving this team the "State" penalty just because it's so stupid. Why is it there? Do they think we won't realize Manitoba is in Canada if it isn't? Are they that insecure?

Well, I suppose androgynes have a right to be.

Final Score: 74 points.
Penalties: Region (egregious), 5 pts; Alliteration, 2 pts; Cartoon, 17 pts; Anthropomorphization, 10 pts; Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-Logo (quadruply-egregious), 25 pts; Colorful, 13 pts; State (for the Maple Leaf), 4 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -3 pts.