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Jacksonville Barracudas 60
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Posted 2003 October 30
Sing it with me: "Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads; fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum!"

Barnes and Barnes were apparently wrong. They said in the song, "They don't wear sweaters." Well, I'll be damned if this fish head isn't doing exactly that. Not only does he have a hockey sweater on, he even has a fin sticking out of the back. Neat trick, that.

This logo really looks like a design by committee. It looks like they couldn't quite decide what elements to use and what not to use, so they used everything. That's the only explanation I can come up with for the fact that we have a fish wearing skates while riding a surfboard. I'm almost -- and I stress that word -- willing to forgive the fact that they stuffed a fish into a jersey and gave it shoulders worthy of The Tick, hockey gloves, and skates. After all, dozens of other teams do similar things (which is one of the main reasons this site ever got created). But I defy anyone to surf while wearing ice skates. Hell, I defy you to even walk across the beach to get to the waves with those things on.

It's hard to tell in the picture above, but that's an American flag serving as the shoulder patch of the barracuda's jersey. Call me jaded, but I consider this to be a hopelessly cynical ploy to make money off of feigned patriotism. If they really wanted to show how patriotic they were, they'd use the American flag on their actual jersey, instead of just the jersey in the logo. But their own jersey doesn't use the American flag as the shoulder patch. It uses a puck caught on a fish hook. Some advice to all my fishing friends out there: pucks make lousy bait. Very few fish are hockey fans, after all. Don't believe me? Just check the stands at the next game you're at and tell me how many fish you see. And before any smartasses from Detroit try to pipe up, octopi aren't fish.

I debated for quite a while over whether or not to ding them for the "Cartoon" penalty, as this one could go either way. In the end, I went with my old guideline that the more I like the logo, the more slack I cut it. Yes, you guessed it: they get the penalty. Also, I gave them the "State" penalty for the U.S. flag. Hey, I could have been much worse on that one: I could have called it egregious for each state after the first one (and one last egregious since Texas is always egregious), and that would have worked out to 2,550,486,001 points all by itself. All things considered, I went very easy on these guys.

All this being said, I have to give them credit for one thing: they didn't earn a single point for their name. In fact, I kinda like the name, and the only reason they didn't get the "Cool-Name" bonus is because I think seven syllables is a bit of a mouthful.

Final Score: 60 points.
Penalties: Cartoon, 17 pts; Anthropomorphization, 10 pts; Name-Logo, 2 pts; Equip-Logo (quadruply egregious), 25 pts; State, 4 pts; Yucky-Logo, 5 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -3 pts.


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