For instance, my male human spends most of his waking hours at home with his butt glued to the bottom of "his" chair. Knowing how most humans regard exercise, (the exercise bike at my house is now a coat rack with pedals,)and knowing that humans need to exercise to stay healthy so they can pamper me properly, I've taken it upon my self to whip them into shapes of sorts.

I have trained the male human to throw a stuffed mouse on a string in my general direction. At first, I actually go after the silly thing. This is necessary to put him in the proper exercise mode. When I see he is starting to work up a sweat, I just curl up on the floor and watch him work out. Eventually he tires and stops. I walk away, knowing I've done my part in keeping him healthy.

The female human is much easier to manipulate. I've led her to believe I'm helpless without her. She is completely enslaved to me, calling me saccharine names, like when she comes at me with her "How's Mommy's little girly-girl?"in this voice I can only describe as retarded. It takes great will power not to bite or puke at times like this.

I must maintain my cool, though, because this human is the one who feeds me and cleans my box, scratches me under my chin and on my butt, and gives me the run of the house. To exercise the female, I simply barf when I see she is settled in front of the computer or the flicky box. I only do this early in the morning before she gets to finish her first cup of coffee. Like magic, up she pops to run for the paper towels and the rug cleaner. I quietly observe as she wipes, sprays and wipes some more. Sometimes if I feel she isn't putting enough elbow grease into it, I barf again! I have purrsonally created a many shaded masterpiece in 3 seperate rooms downstairs!

Before she gets too settled again, I demand breakfast, clean water from the fridge only, and a variety of meal choices, as I tend to be finicky. Most of the rest of the day I spend napping or eating. I insist on a fresh serving of food for lunch and dinner, plus a nice evening snack. That is how I exercise my humans. Hey, my box needs attending to! Where is that servile female? Now! Bend and lift and bend and lift...ah, life is good.

Annie